Forgiveness is love in action

Forgiveness is love in action. That’s a powerful statement not to overlook. In my opinion, forgiveness is so underrated. We take it for granted. We don’t spend enough time on it. We live in the complexity of being human beings in an already complex world. Every day most of us try our best to live our life to the greatest of our abilities.

People don’t mean to fuck up and be fucked up. We do our best. They do their best. Judging is easy when we lack all the information. Once you know more, it’s hard not to understand and have more empathy. I’m not saying that unwholesome acts and behaviors are justified.

What I am trying to say is that we should see where people are coming from. What is their baggage? What are their beliefs? What are their upbringing and conditioning? It’s better to see it this way or else we will just spend our time pointing fingers and constantly lacking the understanding to have empathy.

One of the greatest things meditation brought to my life is the ability to see the “worst sides” of myself and accepting all of it. By accepting, I mean not fighting or repressing that side. By being aware of my shortcomings, I was aware of the good I had inside, and I could make the choice to encourage the good and let go of the not-so-good. Water the plants instead of the weeds.

There is a lack of education when it comes to what Carl Jung called the shadow. The dark side we all have inside. Most people trap themselves into thinking they are bad when they are just human. There is nothing wrong with them.

We have to learn how to shine the light on ourselves and once we do that, we can start by forgiving ourselves for being the way we are. For those of you who have read anything by David Hawkins you probably know about the vibration chart, and you probably know that guilt is one of the lowest vibrations.

Guilt leads to unwholesome words, deeds, and thoughts. When your life is colored with guilt, the whole world is dark. Self-loathing is at an all-time high. That’s when we need to forgive ourselves the most. One thing I realized earlier in life is that forgiving oneself is often much harder than forgiving others.

When I was in the meditation center they gave me a mantra. The mantra is beautiful and should be used every day :

“Whatever harm I have done to myself or others, by words, thoughts or actions, I now forgive myself”

We are not thought how to love ourselves and how to forgive ourselves. We are brainwashed to feel like shit because we do not fit a certain fabricated image that we should all aspire towards.

As soon as we do something bad, we should feel guilty forever, and ever yet if we do something good, we should be humble. Play it down. Confidence nowadays is seen as arrogance. Self-love is seen as narcissism. Being proud of the good you do for yourself and others is seen as conceit.

We can’t praise ourselves and we can even accept praise. I heard a monk said that receiving and accepting praise does not make you big-headed it makes you big-hearted. Once we can learn, slowly but most definitely surely, to be kind and forgiving with ourselves. We will be able to forgive others.

A lot of us are just stuck in life because we can forgive ourselves and/or others. Once you forgive, there is a relief, a lightness, a beauty that comes with that feeling of surrender to a higher power.

Tyler Perry, the great American producer was physically abused by his father. His father hated him and made his feelings known by hitting him for years on end. Tyler had so much hatred for his father even after he passed away. One day he could not take it anymore.

The weigh of hatred and anger was just too much to bear. And even though his father had already passed, he forgave him. In his heart, he gave him forgiveness beyond the grave. He let go. He surrendered.

To err is human but to forgive is divine. We all heard of this South African woman, who gave a hug to the man, who had tortured her son, when she saw him crying after he had described the torture he inflicted on her late son.

Two soldiers were captured and imprisoned in a Vietnam prisoner camp. The end of the war released them from the camp and the tortures they had to endure. Years later, the two soldiers met. The first one asked his old companion he had forgiven all the Vietnamese soldiers for the pain they had inflicted upon them. He answered by saying that he will never forgive them. This man was still in prison.

A monk I know was once asked. How many times should we forgive? The answer was simple. Always one more time. We have the choice to act and relieve our hearts and the hearts of others with forgiveness.

Louise Hay used to say that we should always see the inner child’s innocence of every human regardless of who they are. And we should always remind ourselves that they are trying their best. Having this mindset with ourselves and others can help us tremendously and give life hope, faith, warmth and compassion.

We choose to see the world and people in all their colors. we know that encouraging the good in ourselves and others leads to more good. Hate begets hate. Love begets love and love conquers hate. Let us patiently and kindly persevere to become more compassionate, more empathetic, and more forgiving.